Monga:
Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be considered fever,
but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the
American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of
Puerto Rican origin.
Patatú:
Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time.
Could be serious enough to require Hospitalization, yet is undetected
by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the
age of 50 years.
Sereno:
Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled
by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There are no
physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the Puerto Rican
elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must
not be taken out at night without proper headgear or risk of
contamination is certain.
Empache:
Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large
Puerto Rican meal. The only known cure for this disease is "una Buena
criolla"
or "tirarse un buen peo". (Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective).
Cuerpo Coltao:
Frequent and mild condition of unknown etiology.
Symptoms include but are not limited to fatigue, lack of energy and
chronic whining.
Moño Parao:
Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood
swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.
Cocotazo:
Also referred to as the "Fuacata". A clenched /closed cripple effect
of left or right fingers within the hand with middle finger slightly
raised higher than the rest quick snap to the wrist (my father's
favorite).
Chichón:
Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a Patatu.
Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a
Cocotazo.
If you don't remember these you're not a typical Puerto Rican! Enjoy!
Mysterious body temperature, not high enough to be considered fever,
but serious enough to miss school and work. Illness is unknown by the
American Medical Association (AMA) and only understood by doctors of
Puerto Rican origin.
Patatú:
Attack of obscure origin that can strike at any time.
Could be serious enough to require Hospitalization, yet is undetected
by medical technology. Victims tend to be males and females over the
age of 50 years.
Sereno:
Occurs when someone steps outdoors suddenly at night and is sprinkled
by a mysterious substance produced by the night air. There are no
physical symptoms and it can only be detected by the Puerto Rican
elderly. The effect of having this disease is unknown. Children must
not be taken out at night without proper headgear or risk of
contamination is certain.
Empache:
Digestive disorder which occurs after the consumption of a large
Puerto Rican meal. The only known cure for this disease is "una Buena
criolla"
or "tirarse un buen peo". (Alka-Seltzer is completely ineffective).
Cuerpo Coltao:
Frequent and mild condition of unknown etiology.
Symptoms include but are not limited to fatigue, lack of energy and
chronic whining.
Moño Parao:
Psychological imbalance of short duration that causes strange mood
swings, violent irritating behavior as well as general unpleasantness.
Cocotazo:
Also referred to as the "Fuacata". A clenched /closed cripple effect
of left or right fingers within the hand with middle finger slightly
raised higher than the rest quick snap to the wrist (my father's
favorite).
Chichón:
Elevated cranial protrusion usually caused by the fall after a Patatu.
Can also be caused by the sudden or unexpected encounter with a
Cocotazo.
If you don't remember these you're not a typical Puerto Rican! Enjoy!
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